top of page
Writer's pictureLouisa Mastromarino

How Jealousy Really is the Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy is a complex emotion that can have a significant impact on our relationships and overall well-being. Commonly referred to as the "green-eyed monster," jealousy is often described as a feeling of resentment or bitterness towards someone who has something that we desire, whether it's a material possession, a relationship, or a personal trait (Parrott & Smith, 1993). While jealousy may seem like a natural human response, it can also be a destructive force that can lead to unhealthy behaviors and damaged relationships.


One of the key characteristics of jealousy is its ability to distort our perceptions and cloud our judgment. When we are consumed by jealousy, we may become obsessed with comparing ourselves to others and can develop a skewed view of reality (Guerrero et al., 1995). This can lead to irrational thoughts and behaviors, such as accusing our partners of infidelity or constantly seeking validation from others.


Jealousy can also have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. Studies have shown that experiencing jealousy can lead to a range of negative emotions, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem (Mathes & Severa, 1981). In severe cases, jealousy can even contribute to the development of mental health issues such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or borderline personality disorder.


Perhaps most concerningly, jealousy can also lead to aggressive or abusive behaviors. In some cases, individuals who are struggling with jealousy may lash out at their partners or engage in controlling behaviors, such as limiting their partner's social interactions or monitoring their activities. This can create a toxic and unhealthy dynamic in the relationship, and can even escalate into physical violence.


While it may be tempting to try to suppress or ignore our feelings of jealousy, the reality is that this approach is often ineffective and can actually make the problem worse. Instead, it's important to acknowledge and address our jealousy in a healthy and constructive way. This may involve seeking counseling or therapy, practicing mindfulness and self-reflection, or learning to cultivate a greater sense of self-confidence and self-worth.


Ultimately, the green-eyed monster of jealousy is a powerful force that can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. By understanding and addressing this emotion in a healthy and constructive way, we can work to overcome its negative effects and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.


Louisa Mastromarino is a certified counselor educator. She holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Communications, a Master of Science Degree in School Counseling, and a post master’s degree in Supervision and Educational Leadership.  Louisa is the author of Spifford Max and the Cycle Pups Go to Washington, D.C., Spifford Max and the Cycle Pups Go to New York City, Spifford Max and the Cycle Pups Go to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Brizzley Bear Loves Poetry and additional publications.  Louisa's work has been highlighted in the noted publications Careers from the Kitchen Table by Raven Blair Davis and Miracles in the Divine by Beverly Pokorski. For distant appointments in spiritual coaching or energy medicine email distantholistic@gmail.com. Thank you.



References


Guerrero, L. K., Andersen, P. A., Jorgensen, P. F., Spitzberg, B. H., & Eloy, S. V. (1995). Coping with the green-eyed monster: Conceptualizing and measuring communicative responses to romantic jealousy. Western Journal of Communication, 59(4), 270-304.


Mathes, E. W., & Severa, N. (1981). Jealousy, romantic love, and liking: Theoretical considerations and preliminary scale development. Psychological Reports, 49(1), 23-31.


Parrott, W. G., & Smith, R. H. (1993). Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(6), 906-920.



4 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page